Beware the balance

So yesterday I went for my follow up to see how the meds were helping and make adjustments as needed.  When I started out on the Provigil I was very nervous that I would get that jacked up, cracked out feeling and luckily I did not, in the beginning.  I say in the beginning because a week and a half into the treatment I came down with an awful stomach virus.  I had been reading Narcolepsy forums and other sites and had read that some other PWN(people with Narcolepsy) would take what is called a "drug holiday" in other words they would not take the stimulants on the weekends.  You see we need these in order to help function at work and make it through the week but on the weekend it is easier to stay at home and listen to your body and take naps.  I must admit I still don't know how exactly Provigil works, but from what I understand the medical profession really doesn't either.  So I have this stomach virus, I'm on a drug holiday, I wind up having to miss one day of work due to the illness but decide it is Monday and need to continue on with my normal routine and start taking the Provigil again.  This is the first time I take it and go back to sleep and sleep for a couple of hours, but I wake up and all is good, or so I think.  Later that night I start to develop mild anxiety.  Now I am no stranger to anxiety, it has visited me a bit in the past but being a fairly intelligent person I can usually distinguish that I am in fact having anxiety and not say a heart attack or some other emergency. (of course after the first few times of swearing you are dying and then coming out the other side and realizing you didn't, it's scary to think I might one day actually be and brush it off due to the amount of anxiety I have lived through, but again that is something that deserves another day and it's own whole topic) Well unfortunately the anxiety begins to become more frequent to the point it becomes a daily thing with the Provigil.  This mostly hitting me at the most inopportune time, like right as I am driving home from work.  Wednesday I am at a marketing meet and greet through the local Chamber of Commerce and I go to the ladies room to blow my nose and realize my nose is bleeding, which of course triggers a anxiety attack because here I am at a social event with 90 strangers that I am committed to staying at for the next hour and a half and my nose has just randomly started bleeding.  Luckily I make it through get back to my office and call the doc.  He then tells me the nose bleed is most likely caused by allergies and it is quite normal at this time of year and can be cured with a simple saline solution.  This has a huge calming effect and we agree that I will keep my Friday appointment.  So yesterday we decided, increase in the Provigil to keep me from falling asleep in the bathroom and car on the way home. Oh yeah, forgot to mention still doing that, possibly the reason for anxiety. He also gave me a mild anxiety pill to use in a pinch.  We don't want to use it if unnecessary since it will make me tired.  Luckily even after I got back to work and it was so hectic yesterday no anxiety so that was a good thing, but the downside, it drained all of my energy so as soon as I made it home, and let me tell you it was a struggle, I fell asleep 3 times at the same light due to the time it took to make it through the light and people were honking and cussing, but as soon as I made it home I laid on the couch and was right out for 3 hours.  Woke up to poke around on the computer for about and hour or so and then right back to bed.  This had me up and down all night in excruciating pain from the Fibromyalgia. You see the more sedentary you are the more stiff you will become and the pain increases, but the Narcolepsy makes you want to sleep. Here I am this morning stiff, sore, joints and muscles burning and still a   bit tired.  So for everyone there is a balance to be found, a balance in the meds for me and a balance between the syndrome and disorder that plague my life daily.